Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assallam Aliykum!

I am a mother of two, and in a state of confusion about my life!Due to a threatning illness I am living at my mothers home in uk,my husband lives in Pakistan,and would like me to return there,I know that there are not as many medical benefits there so i have chosen to stay with my mum,my husband will not join me here on the grounds that islam doesnt allow a man to live with inlaws.Is this explanation he gives me accurate.I want to do whats best for my health and keep my marriage please advice me what is the correct approach to take. I am desperate to resolve this matter? 

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Answer:

Can husband stay with in laws

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: my husband will not join me here on the grounds that islam doesnt allow a man to live with inlaws.Is this explanation he gives me accurate

Beloved Sister in Islam, there is absolutely no restriction or prohibition in Islam for a husband to live in his wife’s or in-laws house, if the wife or the in-laws permit or invite him to do so. Because Islam has laid all the financial duties of running a house on the shoulders of the man, it would still be the husband’s responsibility to provide for the upkeep of his wife and children.

It would not be righteousness for a husband to force or coerce or demand that the wife or the in-laws provide housing for him, neither would it be righteousness if the in-laws or the wife force, or coerce, or demand that the husband must live in their house; but if the wife or the in-laws themselves invite him to live with them, there is absolutely no harm in him living with them. This is something the husband and the wife must sort out between themselves with mutual understanding.

The absolute biggest evidence that a husband is allowed to live in his wife’s or in-law’s house is recorded in the ‘Seerah’ of Prophet Mohamed (saws)! When the Prophet (saws) married his first wife Hadrat Khadijah (r.a.), he (saws) was invited by Hadrat Khadijah (r.a.) to live in her house, and the Prophet (saws) accepted her invitation and lived with her in her house.

I want to do whats best for my health and keep my marriage please advice me what is the correct approach to take. I am desperate to resolve this matter? 

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, if you have invited your husband to come and live with your family in the country of your choice, and the husband refuses the offer for any reason whatsoever, he has a right to do so; and this right of your husband must be respected. It may be that he feels that he might not be comfortable living amongst his in-laws; and if Allah forbid, his fear do come true and he is not comfortable in your house and your country, this will directly effect your relationship with him!

If your husband does not wish to migrate to your country, and you have an illness which can only be treated in your country or for some reason you do not wish to move to his country; then this matter can only be solved amicably if a suitable compromise is reached between the two of you. If the two of you ardently wish to live together and save the marriage, either he compromises and accepts to migrate to your country, or you compromise and decide to take treatment for your illness in the country of your husband.

In conclusion, the husband has a bigger right that his wife live with him in the accommodation and place that he is able to provide for her; and if there is any possibility of getting treatment of your illness in Pakistan, it would be best if you move there, live with your husband, and save your marriage.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan