If a father doesn`t let his daughter to marry with a boy she wishes because he thinks that the boy is not suitable for her and other relatives also thinks so
Mu' meneen Brothers
and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa
Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be
upon all of you)
One of our
brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Asslamo alaikum,
Sir,
I want to ask tha if someone`s decision seems to be against the teaching of
Islam but consequently it is a right decision. For example if a father doesn`t
let his daughter to marry with a boy she wishes because he thinks that the boy
is not suitable for her and other relatives also thinks so but he is otherwise
very nice with the girl and also because he wants his daughter to complete her
studies and do a job to be independant and confident. is it a a right decision?
Thankyou
(There may be some
grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not
change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our
readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Answer:
Marry early or do Job
In the name of Allah, We praise
Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none
can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright.
We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam,
no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship
but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant
and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: I want to ask tha if someone`s
decision seems to be against the teaching of Islam but consequently it is a
right decision.
To even assume that one can
make a choice or decision which is against the teachings of the perfect deen of
Al-Islam but is a right decision, is without an iota of a doubt, nothing but an
oxymoron or a contradiction in itself!!!
Allah says in the
Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imran
verse 19:
Indeed, Islam in the ONLY right way of life in the
sight of Allah.
The deen, teachings, and
guidance of the deen of Al-Islam are based on the Absolute and Perfect
Knowledge of Allah Subhanah; and it is absolutely, utterly, completely, and
extremely impossible for one in creation to come up with a decision which is
right or correct but against the teachings of Islam!
Allah Says in the
Holy Quran Chapter 67 Surah Al-Mulk verses 3-4:
3 He (Allah) Who created the seven heavens one above another; no want of
proportion wilt thou see in the Creation of (Allah) Most Gracious; so turn thy
vision again: Seest thou any flaw?
4 Again turn thy vision a second time; (thy) vision will come back to
thee dull and discomfited, in a state worn out!
If any in creation dares to
claim that his decision is against the teachings of Islam but is right, then it
clearly implies that (and I seek the refuge in Allah Subhanah from saying
this:) that the Knowledge and Wisdom of the Lord is not Perfect and Absolute,
or that the person knows more than The Lord Creator, or that the person has a
better understanding of the good and the evil outcome of deeds! Allah is our witness brother, if one dares
to claim such a stupendous and momentous thing, then know with conviction that there
is not a more ignorant and arrogant person in the annuls of creation than such
a person!
Yes, it may be that one sees
and even maybe gains a little and immediate benefit from his decision which is
against the guidance of Islam; but in the long term that decision, without an
iota of a doubt, will bring nothing but evil and harm upon himself and bring
about his ruin in this world and the Hereafter!
Allah Says in the
Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 216:
216 ……But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you and
that ye love a thing which is bad for you.
But Allah Knows and ye know not!
Your Statement: For example if a father doesn`t let
his daughter to marry with a boy she wishes because he thinks that the boy is
not suitable for her and other relatives also thinks so but he is otherwise
very nice with the girl and also because he wants his daughter to complete her
studies and do a job to be independant and confident. is it a a right decision?
If the boy the believing girl
wishes to marry is a mehram or a non-muslim, then indeed to marry such a person
would be against the teachings and guidance of Islam.
But if the boy is a believer
and a non-mehram, and the father does not allow his daughter to marry him…then
that is the decision of the father or guardian of the daughter, not a decision
of Islam!
Similarly to allow the daughter
to complete her education and get a job before marriage is a decision of the
father, which is neither with or against the teachings of Islam. If the fathers wills he may allow his
daughter to get married and also continue her studies after her marriage, or if
he wills he may permit her to complete her education first and then get
married. That decision is entirely the
decision of the father of the girl.
Unless the boy is a mehram or a
non-muslim, Islam does not prohibit his marriage to the believing sister. If the sister goes ahead and marries the boy
who is a mehram or a non-muslim, she would indeed be in clear transgression of
the Laws of Islam….and Allah is our witness, this decision will bring about
nothing but her ruin in this world and the Hereafter!
Allah Says in the
Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 221:
221 ……….
Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe:
a man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever even though he allure
you! Unbelievers do (but) beckon
you to the fire. But Allah beckons by
His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness and makes His Signs
clear to mankind: that they may celebrate His praise.
But the decision of when to
marry is a decision entirely of the father and the daughter; if both agree and
consent she may marry the boy first and then continue her studies, or if they
both agree and consent they may delay the marriage until her education is
complete. Neither decision would
contradict Islamic Law.
If one trusts, obeys, and
follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being
misled; but if one believes, obeys and
follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and
benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error
is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best
and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Burhan