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If a father doesn`t let his daughter to marry with a boy she wishes because he thinks that the boy is not suitable for her and other relatives also thinks so

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Asslamo alaikum,


Sir,
I want to ask tha if someone`s decision seems to be against the teaching of Islam but consequently it is a right decision. For example if a father doesn`t let his daughter to marry with a boy she wishes because he thinks that the boy is not suitable for her and other relatives also thinks so but he is otherwise very nice with the girl and also because he wants his daughter to complete her studies and do a job to be independant and confident. is it a a right decision?

Thankyou 

 

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Answer:

 

Marry early or do Job

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: I want to ask tha if someone`s decision seems to be against the teaching of Islam but consequently it is a right decision.

To even assume that one can make a choice or decision which is against the teachings of the perfect deen of Al-Islam but is a right decision, is without an iota of a doubt, nothing but an oxymoron or a contradiction in itself!!!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale-Imran verse 19:

Indeed, Islam in the ONLY right way of life in the sight of Allah.

 

The deen, teachings, and guidance of the deen of Al-Islam are based on the Absolute and Perfect Knowledge of Allah Subhanah; and it is absolutely, utterly, completely, and extremely impossible for one in creation to come up with a decision which is right or correct but against the teachings of Islam!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 67 Surah Al-Mulk verses 3-4:

3 He (Allah) Who created the seven heavens one above another; no want of proportion wilt thou see in the Creation of (Allah) Most Gracious; so turn thy vision again: Seest thou any flaw?

4 Again turn thy vision a second time; (thy) vision will come back to thee dull and discomfited, in a state worn out!

 

If any in creation dares to claim that his decision is against the teachings of Islam but is right, then it clearly implies that (and I seek the refuge in Allah Subhanah from saying this:) that the Knowledge and Wisdom of the Lord is not Perfect and Absolute, or that the person knows more than The Lord Creator, or that the person has a better understanding of the good and the evil outcome of deeds! Allah is our witness brother, if one dares to claim such a stupendous and momentous thing, then know with conviction that there is not a more ignorant and arrogant person in the annuls of creation than such a person!

 

Yes, it may be that one sees and even maybe gains a little and immediate benefit from his decision which is against the guidance of Islam; but in the long term that decision, without an iota of a doubt, will bring nothing but evil and harm upon himself and bring about his ruin in this world and the Hereafter!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 216:

216 ……But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah Knows and ye know not!

 

Your Statement: For example if a father doesn`t let his daughter to marry with a boy she wishes because he thinks that the boy is not suitable for her and other relatives also thinks so but he is otherwise very nice with the girl and also because he wants his daughter to complete her studies and do a job to be independant and confident. is it a a right decision?

If the boy the believing girl wishes to marry is a mehram or a non-muslim, then indeed to marry such a person would be against the teachings and guidance of Islam.

 

But if the boy is a believer and a non-mehram, and the father does not allow his daughter to marry him…then that is the decision of the father or guardian of the daughter, not a decision of Islam!

 

Similarly to allow the daughter to complete her education and get a job before marriage is a decision of the father, which is neither with or against the teachings of Islam. If the fathers wills he may allow his daughter to get married and also continue her studies after her marriage, or if he wills he may permit her to complete her education first and then get married. That decision is entirely the decision of the father of the girl.

 

Unless the boy is a mehram or a non-muslim, Islam does not prohibit his marriage to the believing sister. If the sister goes ahead and marries the boy who is a mehram or a non-muslim, she would indeed be in clear transgression of the Laws of Islam….and Allah is our witness, this decision will bring about nothing but her ruin in this world and the Hereafter!

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 221:

221 ………. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: a man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever even though he allure you! Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of Bliss) and forgiveness and makes His Signs clear to mankind: that they may celebrate His praise.

 

But the decision of when to marry is a decision entirely of the father and the daughter; if both agree and consent she may marry the boy first and then continue her studies, or if they both agree and consent they may delay the marriage until her education is complete. Neither decision would contradict Islamic Law.

 

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

 

 

Burhan

 


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