Mu` meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah`s Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I would like to know if it is wrong to marry someone of your choice.....if its not why are muslim familles against love marriage

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Answer:

Why Muslims against love Marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His  forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: i would like to know if it is wrong to marry someone of your choice.....

The truth is that Islam has only allowed marriage with one’s own choice! It is a condition of a marriage in Islam, that both the prospective groom and bride agree to be wedded to each other; and a marriage that takes place without the consent of either partner, will be declared null and void!

Your Question: if its not why are muslim familles against love marriage.

Islam has guided the believers to clearly differentiate between ‘lust’ and ‘love’! What Islam has strictly prohibited is the casual meeting, dating and forming any sort of illicit relationships of non-mehram males and females. This casual illicit relationships of non-mehram males and females are a curse and an evil of society, which dishonors the sacred relationship and ties of marriage!

Most of the modern-but-ignorant people who form such illicit relationships with non-mehram members of the opposite sex, have mistaken ‘lust’ for ‘love’! Islam guides the believers that true love is formed between the partners only after marriage; and Allah Subhanah has Himself declared that it is He Who has put love and affection and mercy between the partners in marriage.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rum verse 21:

And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them; and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

Islam has strictly prohibited the act of ‘zina’ (fornication and adultery); and as is the principle of Islam, if a thing is prohibited, all the roads that lead to such an act are also forbidden.

Besides, what some people call ‘love’ out of wedlock; Islam rightfully recognizes that as forming an illicit, immoral, and illegal sexual relationship! ‘Love’ in Islam is not considered as shallow and as superficial as some of the so-called modern-educated ignorant people would like to believe! ‘Love’ is an honorable term that is developed between a couple after marriage. Islam has rightfully differentiated and segregated illegal ‘lust’ from true ‘love’; which most of the ignorant people of this world seem to think as synonym.

Islam has allowed a couple who wish to marry to meet as often as they like, provided the girl is accompanied by a male-mehram relative of hers. Islam has allowed the couple to talk to each other as often as they think is necessary, provided a male mehram relative of the girl is present! Thus if the couple want to meet and talk serious talk, there is no restriction …. The restriction is placed for the protection and honor of our sisters and our daughters, so that some smooth-talking guy does not show-stars-in-the-sky to your and our honorable sisters and daughters! Whatever he wants to say, he may say it to the prospected girl, in front of her brother, or father, or uncle.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan