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What i wish to know is very personal , my mother has, after one divorce ( which she had to take on account of my father`s lack of maturity ), and one heartbreak, kept the Al Quran as the witness and Allah as her guardian and performed nikaah in Bateel , i approve of it most earnestly , acknowledging full-fledgely that , my mother also needs lots of love and affection , more than financial security, since she is a honourable and Allah-fearing woman.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Sir,
Assalam Wa lai kum

You are doing good work by educating those who definitely are in the need of education. After all the Al Quran is definitely the most appropiate choice and source of all knowledge, it only requires that one properly understands that which allah the only and most kind and benevolent one, has made it clear in the holy book.
What i wish to know is very personal , my mother has, after one divorce ( which she had to take on account of my father`s lack of maturity ), and one heartbreak, kept the Al Quran as the witness and Allah as her guardian and performed nikaah in Bateel , i approve of it most earnestly , acknowledging full-fledgely that , my mother also needs lots of love and affection , more than financial security, since she is a honourable and Allah-fearing woman.

 

She has asked me to know whether such a nikaah would be valid in Al-Islam and in the benevolence of Allah. Also she only seeks emotional peace with my present father, as i have very much accepted my mother`s decision , even though i was not present at that time when she and my pop took this decision. He is unable to provide for us by material means ,but is a good source of inspiration to me, oh, i forgot to mention, he is already married with 3 small children, however i or my mom have no interest and will never intervene in his life apart from us.

 

Also one more thing that i would like to know i am Allah -respecting (not fearing person) and have absolute trust in Allah, but the beast in me, (that which i have inherited from my paternal father ) is very destructive, and infact i am Qayamat itself if i ever let the beast in me surface, as when i myself suffered a set-back after coming to know that the girl i love whole-heartely, is interested in some one else, infact she has rejected me on account of some one who though not fit for her, has been chosen by the most kind and benevolent Allah to be receiver of her affection (at least for the present that is true), this pain has made the beast in me surface, that which is more darker than the darkest night of despair, Allah knows i will do everything in my best and worst of my abilities to have her, even if it means destroying her life and mine, however i have always practiced a specific form of Shoalin Kung-fu( =Acquired skill) , which i now use to tame the beast in me and calm my emotions. But what i have already done cannot be undone, for i have torn the Holy Book of Allah by my own hands ,( and also leaving a very deep scar in my mom`s heart ). I don`t know what will become of me tommorrow, i know the Allah is the most kind and most forgiving, and that My mom has already forgiven me, and if i have acquired any rewards for any good deed done by me, like showing path to the blind, i pray that Allah the most kind, deliver whatever blessings that i may receive to my unlucky mom, who has undergone a lot of physical abuse at the hands of my paternal father.

Dear Mr. Burhan,

I request you to tell me 1) whether my mom`s nikaah is valid in the eyes of Al Islam, and Al Quran, Also i forgot to tell you that my current dad is around 15 years younger to my mom.
2) i am on the path to my redemption, either i will go to depths of hell or attain Varagya ( dis-association from all world attachement), but would pray to the kind and benevolent allah that i refrain my journey to either extreme till the life of my mother, as it very well known to me that she will live more thirty year, will you pray that Allah grants me the strength to subdue the beast which will surface on account of my heartbreak, will you?

Thanks And Live long & propers

Khuda Hafiz

 

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Answer:

 

Secret Marriage and Quran torn

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Your Question: What i wish to know is very personal , my mother has, after one divorce ( which she had to take on account of my father`s lack of maturity ), and one heartbreak, kept the Al Quran as the witness and Allah as her guardian and performed nikaah in Bateel , i approve of it most earnestly , acknowledging full-fledgely that , my mother also needs lots of love and affection , more than financial security, since she is a honourable and Allah-fearing woman.

She has asked me to know whether such a nikaah would be valid in Al-Islam and in the benevolence of Allah.

Dear and Beloved Brother, a marriage in Islam is a legal affair which has a set of required and absolutely obligatory rules (proposal and acceptance, determination of the mehr, availability of at least two witnesses to the marriage contract, etc.) for it to be valid in the Sight of Islamic Law and Allah Subhanah.

 

No person or couple can individually keep the Quran or Allah Subhanah as witness and perform the nikaah in batil; such an act or contract done without fulfilling the absolutely obligatory conditions of nikaah would be absolutely invalid, null and void in the Sight of Islamic Law and of Allah Subhanah.

 

Your Statement: But what i have already done cannot be undone, for i have torn the Holy Book of Allah by my own hands ,

Beloved Brother, the Al-Quran are the very Words and a Book of Guidance of Lord Creator revealed for the guidance of all mankind, and to tear this Noble Book of the All-Mighty and Majestic Lord in a state of anger is indeed being disrespectful and ungrateful to the favors of the Lord Most Gracious, to say the least.


 

Indeed whatever is done cannot be done, but our Lord Most Gracious is so full of Mercy and Grace towards His creation, that He has left the door of repentance and taubah upon for each individual until their appointment of death. Thus if one in their ignorance, were to ever disobey or transgress the boundaries of their Lord, feels sincere sorrow and shame at their transgression and were to turn back to their Lord seeking His forgiveness, it is expected that they will find their Lord Forgiving and Merciful.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54:

When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136:

Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54:

(O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls.Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.

 

Thus my beloved and respected brother, regardless of what ones hands might have done in ones past, never never ever despair of the Endless and Infinite Mercy and Grace of the Lord Most Gracious, Most Merciful; for He is ever willing to forgive the transgressions of those who sincerely turn back to Him and seek His forgiveness. He Alone is indeed the Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful, Most Gracious towards His obedient and repentant slaves.

 

Your Statement: will you pray that Allah grants me the strength to subdue the beast which will surface on account of my heartbreak, will you?
Dear and Beloved brother, anger like love, sadness, happiness, weeping, etc. is a natural emotion of a human being, and it is possible that at an occurrence or incident one may experience the emotion of anger. Thus when one experiences the natural emotion of anger, there is no sin and one will not be accountable for ones anger, but what one does or says when one is angry will definitely be taken to account by their Lord All-Mighty. It is the deeds a person does when he is angry that will determine his reward or his punishment in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!

 

Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.11

Malik related from Ibn Shihab from Humayd ibn Abd ar-Rahman ibn Awf that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (saws) and said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), teach me some words which I can live by. Do not make them too much for me, lest I forget." The Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "Do not be angry."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5145 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri

Allah's Messenger (saws) mentioned anger, saying, "Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down." He continued, "Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendant of Adam. Do you not notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes? So when anyone experiences anything of that nature he should lie down and cleave to the earth."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1740 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

The Prophet (saws) said: A believer does not taunt, curse, abuse or talk indecently.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 29 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

I said to Allah's Messenger (saws): Inform me about an act which would entitle me to get into Paradise, and remove me away from Hell-Fire. He (the Prophet (saws)) said: You have asked me about a matter (which ostensibly appears to be) difficult but it is easy to those for whom Allah, the Exalted, has made it easy. Worship Allah and do not associate anything with him, establish prayer, pay the Zakat, observe the fast of Ramadan and perform Hajj to the (Sacred) House (Ka'bah). He (saws) further said: Should I not direct you to the gateways of good? Listen to me: The fasting is a shield against evil, the charity extinguishes (the fire of sin) just as water extinguishes fire. Then he (saws) said: Should I not direct you to the highest level of this matter, to the pillar on which (it all rests) and its top? I said: O Allah's Messenger (saws) yes, (do tell me). He (saws) said: The uppermost level of the matter is al-Islam. Its pillar is the prayer and its top is Jihad. He (saws) then said: Should I not inform you of the sheet anchor of all this? I said: O Messenger of Allah (saws) (of course do it). He (saws) took hold of his tongue and said: Exercise restraint on it. I said: O Messenger of Allah (saws), would we be held responsible for what we say with it? Thereupon he (saws) said: O Mu'adh, may your mother be bereaved! Will anything else besides (irresponsible, evil, abusive, vain) talk cause the people to be thrown into the Hell-Fire upon their faces or on their nostrils?

 

As much as the self-acquired art of Shoalin Kung-fu, etc. might claim or be able to help one control their anger; here are some simple gems of wisdom from none other than the one who was sent with the Truth, the Last and Final Messenger of Allah (saws), which if employed sincerely will definitely help one appease ones state of anger:

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4762 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

Two men reviled each other in the presence of the Prophet (saws) and one of them became excessively angry so much so that I thought that his nose will break up on account of excess of anger. The Prophet (saws) said: I know a phrase which, if he repeated, he could get rid of this angry feeling. They asked: What is it, O Messenger of Allah (saws)? He (saws) replied: He should say: I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan.

 

Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, the emotion of anger is instigated by the accursed enemy of man, the Shaytaan; and as soon as one experiences anger and before he does anything which he regrets, he should first and foremost and immediately seek refuge in Allah The Most High from the accursed Shaytaan by declaring Aoodobillahe minas Shaytaan-ar-rajeem (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaytaan); it is expected that Allah Subhanah will protect the person who sincerely declares this statement from the instigations of the Shaytaan.

 

If the anger still persists, the Messenger of Allah (saws) guided that the person must immediately sit down if he is standing, and if he is sitting, he should cleave the earth and lie down. (Have you ever seen a person lying down being angry??)

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5114 Narrated by Abu Dharr

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "When one of you becomes angry while standing he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down."

 

If that does not work to appease ones anger, one must perform the wudu (ablution); and if the anger still persists after ablution, one should offer a couple of rakah of nafl prayers; and if the anger still persists, one should leave the place and go for a walk or a drive.

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4766 Narrated by Atiyyah as-Sa'di

AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Messenger of Allah (saws) as saying: Anger comes from the Shaytaan, the Shaytaan was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.

 

May Allah Subhanah give you and us the wisdom, the knowledge, and the courage to confront our accursed enemy, the Shaitaan; and guide you and us to control our hands and our tongues when we experience the natural emotion of anger.

 

Al-Muwatta Hadith 47.12

Yahya related from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Said ibn al-Musayyab from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said, "A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is he who contains himself when he is angry."

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4759 Narrated by Mu'adh ibn Jabal

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: if anyone suppresses anger when he is in a position to give vent to it, Allah, the Exalted, will call him on the Day of Resurrection over the heads of all creatures, and ask him to choose any of the bright and large eyed maidens he wishes.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 5116 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "No one has swallowed back anything more excellent in the sight of Allah, Who is Great and Glorious, than the anger that he restrains, seeking to please Allah, The Most High."

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

 

Burhan


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