Bohra brother revert
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I have been regular visitor of this site and greatly benifitted from the sound advice you give on different religious issues. May allah reward you for these services and bless you with enough strength to continue serving like this, ameen.
Now my question is, I belong to bohra family being married and having a baby girl. I have read allama Abdullah yusuf alis translated quran and know really what the islam is and trying to follow the true Islamic way of life. But my wife doesnt like my Islamic idealogy, she force me to go to attend waaz of mola, darees, and other bohra functions where all kind of unislamic activities along with shirk are done. If I dont agree what she tells, then she threatens me to break our marriage, which is highly impossible for me to do so.
I seek your kind advice on this matter very urgently in the light of quran and hadiths.
Your brother in islam.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Bohra brother convert
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
May Allah Subhanah reward you with the best of this world and the Hereafter for your kind comments of encouragement for our humble efforts in the propagation of the Truth. If our humble and modest efforts have helped even one brother or sister get closer to Allah and His Deen of Truth, then we would consider ourselves indeed fortunate to have been given this opportunity by the Lord Most Merciful to serve in His Cause. We hope, beg, and pray the Merciful Lord accepts our humble and weak efforts, forgives us our shortcomings, and saves you, us, and all the believers from the torment of the Hell Fire. Ameen.
Your Question: I belong to bohra family being married and
having a baby girl. I have read allama Abdullah yusuf alis translated quran
and know really what the islam is and trying to follow the true Islamic way of
life. But my wife doesnt like my Islamic idealogy, she force me to go to
attend waaz of mola, darees, and other bohra functions where all kind of
unislamic activities along with shirk are done. If I dont agree what she
tells, then she threatens me to break our marriage, which is highly impossible
for me to do so.
Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, may Allah Subhanah accept your reversion to the obedience of the Quran and the Sunnah, and bestow upon you and your family His Sublime and Infinite Mercy and Grace, and give you the wisdom, patience and the courage to remain steadfast on the Path of Truth you have chosen until the day when the Angel of Death fulfills his duty decreed for each amongst mankind.
Beloved Brother, it is only natural that when one has been born and brought up in a certain surrounding, and subsequently one recognizes and accepts the Truth of the Quran and Sunnah; one will experience a certain amount of resistance from ones loved and near ones who are absolutely ignorant of the Truth. One must understand and appreciate that ones loved and near ones genuinely love them, and wish nothing but the good for them in the criteria or belief they grew up, which might be devoid of the wisdom and guidance of the Truth of the Quran and the Sunnah.
Allah is my witness, I myself have gone through this process for the past 20+ years and the only word that I can find in the English language that comes close to describing the condition of the attitude of ones loved ones towards the ones who have chosen the Quran as their Criterion is: heartbreaking! For ten long years after my acceptance of the Truth of the Quran and Sunnah against the belief I was born into, I was rebuked, ridiculed, and almost isolated from the ones who undoubtedly loved me, and Allah is my witness, I loved them! After ten long heartbreaking and heart-wrenching years, the Merciful Lord answered my prayers and guided my eldest brother and the patriach of our family, whom I love and respect probably as much as I loved and respected my late father, to accept the Truth of the Quran!
Subesequently, Allah Subhanah helped and guided him to influence many other members of our family to leave the deen they were born into and submit to the Truth of the Quran and the Sunnah. Allah is my witness, some of the staunchest opponents of the Truth in my family, whom I, in my absolute and utter ignorance, thought would never submit to the Truth of the Quran and Sunnah were the foremost in accepting the Truth; and those whom I had thought would easily accept logic and reasoning because of their good nature, to this day have not submitted to the Truth! Allah Alone Knows who deserves guidance, and who does not.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 28 Surah Qasas verse 56: You cannot guide whom you love, but Allah guides whomever He Pleases. And He best knows those who would accept guidance.
And unfortunately even until today, almost after 20+ years of this struggle in our family between the Truth and falsehood, my own aged and disabled mother, one of my elder brothers and his family, my two elder sisters and their familes, and almost all the members of our extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. ardently follow the deen they were born into and refuse to accept the guidance of the Quran. Leave alone accepting our invitation to just meet us and talk to us, they are commanded and threatened by their holy priests to socially boycott us and break all relations with us!
Allah is my witness, had Allah Subhananh not helped us and had Mercy upon us, we would have been, without a doubt, completely ruined! All Praise and thanks are due to Allah Subhanah Alone, the Lord of the Worlds.
My dear and beloved brother in Islam, the only reason I relate my personal story to you is to assure you that you are not the only one who is facing this emotional blackmail from the ones whom you love most. Every human being in the history of mankind, who was blessed to be guided aright by the Lord Most Merciful, has to go through this trial of facing the wrath of the misguided and ignorant society; be it the Prophets of Allah, the noble companions, or even humble and sinning believers like you and me! If only you and I could understand the trials faced by those who believed in the times gone by, we would realize just how Kind and Merciful our Lord has been upon us. The same Lord Who guided us to the Truth can only be expected to guide His believing slaves to patience and perseverance!
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.809 Narrated by Khabbab bin Al Arat
We complained to Allah's Messenger (saws) (of the persecution inflicted on us by the infidels) while he was sitting in the shade of the Ka'ba, leaning over his Burd (i.e. covering sheet). We said to him (saws), "Would you seek help for us? Would you pray to Allah for us?" He (saws) said, "Among the nations before you a (believing) man would be put in a ditch that was dug for him, and a saw would be put over his head, and he would be cut into two pieces; yet that (torture) would not make him give up his religion. His body would be combed with iron combs that would remove his flesh from the bones and nerves, yet that would not make him abandon his religion. By Allah, this religion (i.e. Islam) will prevail till a traveler from Sana (in Yemen) to Hadramaut will fear none but Allah, or a wolf as regards his sheep, but you (people) are hasty!
Thus, my dear and beloved brother in Islam, the reaction of your wife and loved ones against your acceptance and submission to the Truth of the Quran should only be expected! No matter what they say and do, you remain steadfast on the Straight Path of the Quran and Sunnah; and constantly seek the help and guidance of your Lord Most Merciful, and in all humility and fear beg Him to bestow upon you the wisdom, and the patience, and the courage to remain steadfast on the Path of Truth you have chosen to live.
Beloved brother, practice extreme patience and wisdom when confronted by your wife or your loved ones; and whenever you get an opportunity invite them to read and understand the Truth of the Glorious Quran. It is expected that Allah Subhanah will take them out of their ignorance and guide them to the Straight Path.
Your Statement: If I dont agree what she tells, then she threatens me to break our marriage, which is highly impossible for me to do so.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 9 Surah Taubah verses 23-24:
23 O ye who believe! Take not for protectors your fathers and your brothers if they love infidelity above faith: if any of you do so they do wrong.
24 Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline; or the dwellings in which ye delight are dearer to you than Allah or His Messenger, or the striving in His Cause; then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.15 Narrated by Anas
The Prophet (saws) said, "Whoever possesses the following three qualities will have tasted the sweetness (delight) of faith:
1. The one to whom Allah and His Messenger (saws) becomes dearer than anything else.
2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah's sake.
3. Who hates to revert to disbelief just as he hates to be thrown into the fire."
Dear and Beloved Brother in Islam, the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws) is absolutely clear in such conditions! It is possible that the threats of your wife are no more than threats to put emotional pressure upon you to come back to the pagan deen you were born into; but if she sees that you are adamant and steadfast on the Truth that your Lord has guided you towards, she might soften her stand and not fulfill her threat to divorce you. Regardless of what she says and does, and no matter how much she threatens you; you remain kind and merciful towards her, practicing and displaying nothing but the best behavior of patience and wisdom as behoves a believer who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day. It may be, that one day, because of your superior and patient behavior towards all the atrocities and abuses they throw upon you; Allah might soften their hearts and guide them to the Truth of the Quran and the Sunnah.
Allah says in the Holy Quran: Chapter 16, Surah An-Nahl Ayat 125: Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and excellent admonition and argue with people in the best manner. Your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Way and who is Rightly guided.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 66 Surah Tahreem verse 6: O you who have believed, save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel shall be men and stones; over which shall be appointed fierce and stern angels, who never disobey Allahs Command, and they only do as they are commanded!
After Allah Subhanah has had Mercy upon one and guided him to the Truth of Tawheed, it does not behove the believer who sincerely fears Allah and the Last Day to prefer disbelief over faith, irrespective of the trials and atrocities the pagans may wish to break upon him; even if it means that one might lose ones most loved ones, or one might lose all of ones possessions, or even if it means that one might lose ones own life! There is absolutely no compromise allowed with the manifestations of shirk once The Merciful Lord has guided His slave towards the Truth of Tawheed!; for the believer knows for certainty that the life of this world is only short and transient, but the life of the Hereafter in the Presence of his Majestic Lord is unending and everlasting.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 9 Surah Taubah verses 111-112:
111 Allah hath purchased of the believers
their persons and their good; for theirs (in return) is the Garden (of
112 Those that turn (to Allah) in repentance: that serve Him and Praise Him; that wander in devotion to the Cause of Allah; that bow down and prostrate themselves in prayer; that enjoin good and forbid evil; and observe the limits set by Allah; (these do rejoice). So proclaim the glad tidings to the Believers.
May Allah Subhanah bestow you with the wisdom, and patience, and the courage needed to confront the trials laid upon you in your adherence to the Truth. May Allah Subhanah have mercy upon you and your family, and bless you with a day when you and your family will be united in the worship and service of the One and Only Lord of the Worlds Alone. May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you and guide you to remain steadfast on the Straight Path of the Quran and Sunnah that you have chosen to tread. Ameen.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,