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Boy leaves girl after relationship

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam Brother,
at the name of Allah Almighty please help me out. I am in love with a boy, we met about 2 years ago. we both loved each other a lot, i trusted him and comitted mistakes.
he promised me that he will talk to his parents, from the very first day i accepted him as my husband.. but i comitted a sin.
Now he says that his parents wont agree, and because of his family problems he cant marry me. even after that he kept lieing and had relation with me.
I am unable to understand how someone can change at that point, as he knew me more than anyone else, he knew well what type of girl i am. For last one year i am trying to explain him my situation but he s not ready to listen to me, I spend days and nighs crying and praying Allah to forgive me and to show that guy the right path. My life became a hell. Please pray for me, i am so tired of living this situation, that i dont know what will i do next.
Please tell me what should I do. I already tried to talk to his elder sister, but no use. Should I try to talk to his parents ?
According to Islam is he allowed to leave me now in this situation, just to please his parents ? 

 

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Answer:

 

Boy leaves girl after relationship

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, unfortunately you are not alone in the situation that you find yourself in today; we see in many communities around us, and we receive hundreds of letters from good, innocent, well-meaning girls who have been similarly duped and conned by some sweet-talking slick in the name of love! When these evil men first meet the girl, they promise them their eternal love, and show them dreams of marriage, etc.; but once they have illegally fulfilled their evil desires, they come up with every reason to walk away from their relationship.and off they go in search of another innocent victim! And our educated-modern-freedom loving and forward-thinking but absolutely ignorant and ungodly societies not only allow but encourage this behavior in the name of consenting adults!!!


 

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, first and foremost you must strive and seek sincere repentance from Allah Subhanah for your past deeds that you did in ignorance. If you are sincere in your repentance, you will find your Lord Most Merciful, Oft-Forgiving.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54: When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls.Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!

 

Your Question: According to Islam is he allowed to leave me now in this situation, just to please his parents ? 

Dear and Beloved Sister, Islamic guidance means that one seeks guidance from the commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws) before one takes any step in life; not after one has taken the step that would affect the rest of their lives! Whenever one takes a step in disobedience of the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), even though it may seem good in the short term, Allah is our witness, one is guaranteed absolute failure and distress and pain in the long term! It is indeed the Mercy and Grace of Allah Subhanah, that no matter what wrongs one might have done, He has left open the Gates of Repentance for anyone who seeks sincere repentance and wishes to come back to the Straight Path.

 

According to Islam, it is not legal and absolutely forbidden for the believers to start or have a relationship with a non-mehram member of the opposite sex outside of marriage! If the two of them lived in a righteous Islamic State, and their physical relationship out of marriage was established in a Shariah Court, the punishment for both of them would be very severe indeed! Because the relationship of two non-mehram members is illegal and beyond the limits of Islamic Law, there is nothing in Islamic Law to stop the man (or the woman) leaving the other. If the man was indeed sincere in his relationship with you, he would have tried to convince his parents to agree to his marriage with you; but under the conditions described by you it seems he has used his parents non-consent as an excuse to simply walk out of his relationship and he has fulfilled his illegal and vicious desire with you!

 

Dear and Beloved Sister in Islam, our sincere advice to you as your brothers and well-wishers in Islam would be not to pursue such a man, who had had the audacity of walking away from the relationship with you, and depriving you of the honor that you deserved and was promised to you by him! Even if you talk to his parents or his family, and they are righteous and they force or coerce him to honor his promise; it cannot be expected from such a person that he will fulfill his commitment to honor and respect you as his wife in the long term.

 

It would be best if you would leave this episode behind you as an ugly lesson of life and a due (and indeed light) punishment for the transgression of the boundaries of Allah and His Messenger (saws); and seek your recompense and revenge from the evil person in the Presence of Allah Subhanah on the Day of Judgment. It would indeed be best if you could bring yourself to forget the person, and seek the help of your guardians to get you married to a righteous and God-fearing man who would give you the honor and respect that every righteous woman deserves in marriage.

 

May Allah Subhanah accept your sincere repentance, and make your trial of life easy for you; and from His Mercy and Grace grant you a pious and God-Fearing husband who will give you the honor and respect that you deserve.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 


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