Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I am in love with My Office Colleauge.i ask her that i want that i send my parents to your home for asking about the marriage.but she said the we do Istakhara by an aunty of their locality.Istakhara is done by her Aunty (not real aunty mean she lives in neibhours).and she gave me answer after 2 weeks that its a negative response in Istakhara.

my question is this that i want to get married with her if you kindly help me for any special prayer from allah.so that by prayers possibly change our Naseeb

Kindly Guide Me what to do.I really getting Much Disturb.And i want to get merried with her.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Marriage and answer by istakhara

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Beloved brother in Islam, ‘istakhara’ is a prayer-supplication which is best done by one himself/herself who is seeking the help and guidance of The All-Knowing when making an important decision. It is not a supplication to get done by some ‘aunty’; nor is her reply any indication of what is Decreed by Allah Subhanah in any way.

When one is considering seeking a spouse in marriage (or any other important matter), one should study the conditions of the prospect and through the bestowed guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws) one should come to a decision. If one has a choice between two or several good options, then one should follow the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws) and perform the ‘istakhara’ prayer-supplication and seek His Help and Guidance in the matter; and wherever one’s heart is content one should follow that path.

This is the beautiful supplication made and taught by the Messenger of Allah (saws) when performing ‘istakhara’:

Allahomma Inni Astakheeroka Bi'ilmik. Wa'astaqdiroka Biqodratik. Wa'as'aloka
min Fadlikal-azeem. Fa'innaka Taqdiru Wala Aqdir. Wata'lamo Wala-a'lam.
Wa'anta-'allamul ghuyoob.

Allahomma In Kunta Ta'lamu Anna (Hathal-Amra) Khayul-lee Fi Deenee Wama'ashi
Wa'ajila Amri Wa'ajilah, Faqdorho lee, Wayassirho lee, Thomma-barik lee fih.

Wa'in Konta Ta'lamo Anna (Hathal-Amra) sharrul-lee Fi Deenee. Wama'ashi.
Wa'ajila Amri. Wa'ajilaho. Fasrifho 'annee. Wasrifnee 'anh. Waqdur
leyal-khayr Haytho kan. Thomma ardini Bih.

Translation of the du'a:
O Allah! I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your
knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your
great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are
the Knower of hidden things.
O Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter) is good for my religion, my
livelihood and my affairs; immediate and in the distant, then ordain for me,
make it easy for me and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this
matter) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and
in the distant, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And
ordain for me the good wherever it be and make me pleased with it.

Thus regardless of what determination is made by the neighborhood ‘aunty’, if your heart is satisfied with the choice, you are well within your rights to approach the parents of the girl and seek her hand in marriage.

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.27 Narrated by Abu Huraira

The Prophet (saws) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser."

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan