Girl love one sided
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i am in love with a man, but the feeling is not mutual, he does not love me. i wanted to ask that if in my kismet it is written that i will marry someone else, can a dua change my kismet? for example if i am destined to marry someone else, but i pray for long enough and with a clean heart can i change my kismet so that eventually i would marry the one i love. i have heard that if u pray for something long enough and with a clean heart, then u can even change your kismet. can u?
the other thing i wanted to ask is that i do not do this with the wrong intention, but is it ok to admire the one u love from a distance. i mean just look at them? i have no vile thoughts in my mind, i just want to look upon him...is that wrong?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE answer my question in detail so that i can understand well. thank you very very much i really appreciate it.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
Girl love one sided
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186: And if My servants ask you, O Prophet, concerning Me, tell them that I am quite near to them. I hear and answer the prayer of the suppliant, when he calls on Me. So let them respond to My call and believe in Me. (Convey this to them), perhaps they may be guided aright!
The All Knowing, All Wise Allah knows what is good and what is bad for us; therefore, if one asks for something good, Allah will give him/her one of three things:
Allah will give the believer what he/she has supplicated for.
If what the believer is asking is not good or harmful for the believer in this world, Allah will store it for him for the world of the Hereafter.
If what the believer is asking is not good or harmful for the believer in this world, Allah will turn away from the believer an equivalent amount of evil.
Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 2257 Narrated by Abu Sa'id al-Khudri
The Prophet (saws) said, "Any Muslim who makes a supplication containing nothing which is sinful, or which involves breaking ties of relationship, will be given for it by Allah one of three things: He will give him swift answer, or store it up for him in the next world, or turn away from him an equivalent amount of evil." Those who heard it said they would then make many supplications, and he (saws) replied that Allah was more ready to answer, than they were willing to ask!
Your Question: i have heard that if u pray for something long enough and with a clean heart, then u can even change your kismet. can u?
Beloved and dear Sister in Islam, one could or would only pray to change ones kismet (fate) if one had knowledge of what is written in ones fate; and none except Allah Subhanah Alone Knows what is the fate of each in His creation!
It would not be considered righteousness for a believer, who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, to insist that Allah Subhanah give them exactly what they covet! But instead, one who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, should beseech Allah Subhanah to give him/her the thing one loves, only if in His Perfect Knowledge, that thing is good for him/her in this world and the Hereafter; and implore Him that if the thing one so covets, is in His Knowledge not good and not beneficial for them, then He replace it with what is best.
That would be considered righteousness in the sight of Allah, for instead of depending on ones own choice and determination, one puts his full trust and dependence of the One Who is All-Knowing, All-Wise, and He Alone has the Knowledge what is good and bad for us. He Knows and we know not what is good for us.
Your Question: the other thing i wanted to ask is that i do not do this with the wrong intention, but is it ok to admire the one u love from a distance. i mean just look at them? i have no vile thoughts in my mind, i just want to look upon him...is that wrong?
Admiration and love for another is a natural phenomena the Lord has bestowed upon human beings; but when one is sexually attracted towards a non-mehram member of the opposite sex then Islam allows only two legal options in this matter:
Either send a proposal of marriage to the concerned person and get married to them.
or, leave the person alone.
But it would not be considered righteousness at all for those believing slaves of Allah, whether man or woman, to stare, or stalk, or admire the non-mehram person of the opposite sex, and thus satisfy oneself with their desire.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Nur verse 31: And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof.
Beloved sister in Islam, in our humble opinion, the best thing for you to do is keep your full Trust in Allah Subhanah and beseech Him through the prayer of istakhara, as was the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws) whenever he had to make a choice between two or several good options.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) would make this supplication during istakhara:
Inni Astakheeroka Bi'ilmik. Wa'astaqdiroka Biqodratik. Wa'as'aloka
min Fadlikal-azeem. Fa'innaka Taqdiru Wala Aqdir. Wata'lamo Wala-a'lam.
Allahomma In Kunta Ta'lamu Anna (Hathal-Amra) Khayul-lee Fi Deenee Wama'ashi
Wa'ajila Amri Wa'ajilah, Faqdorho lee, Wayassirho lee, Thomma-barik lee fih.
Wa'in Konta Ta'lamo Anna (Hathal-Amra) sharrul-lee Fi Deenee. Wama'ashi.
Wa'ajila Amri. Wa'ajilaho. Fasrifho 'annee. Wasrifnee 'anh. Waqdur
Translation of the du'a:
O Allah! I seek Your guidance (in making a choice) by virtue of Your
knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your
great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are
the Knower of hidden things.
O Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter) is good for my religion, my
livelihood and my affairs; immediate and in the distant, then ordain for me,
make it easy for me and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this
matter) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and
in the distant, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And
ordain for me the good wherever it be and make me pleased with it.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,