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Husband wife separate

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

aslaamalikum,i need urgent help,igot married 3 1/2yrs ago,with my cousin who is 20yrs old,i am 32yrsold,we ran away because r familys would not show any interest in marring us,we rejoined my family whinin weeks later ,our marrage has never been stable,i have been abusive&voilent towards her,she has never been open to me,because of this,ours familys have not seen eye to eye since we married,she was not aloud to vist her family house because of our differences,but her mother visited my wife at our house,now she has left&is living with her parents,i sent her belongings to her.the local athoritys r invoved,i have been to  doctor who is refering me to councilling for my violence.i been reading about abused woman on internet which indicate strongly that she will not come back,i have contact with my wife through a friends wife,who tells me she is moving away.i have pleaded for her return,also i have told her i am going through councilling&sujested we should together go to marrage councilling,but it seem she is not keen at all.her is not keen on our marrage.can i do anything?

i am determined to sort my behaviour out.plz advice me accordinly.ALLAHAFIZ.


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Husband wife separate

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Dear Brother in Islam, regardless of the situation and conditions, there is absolutely no excuse or room for the husband to be abusive or violent towards his wife in Islam; and the one who does that has indeed sinned and should immediately seek sincere repentance and forgiveness from Allah Subhanah, and from the person against whom he has been abusive.


Your Question: but it seem she is not keen at all.her is not keen on our marrage.can i do anything? i am determined to sort my behaviour out.plz advice me accordinly

If the husband has been abusive towards his wife, she is well within her rights in Islam to seek a separation by divorce from her husband, and there will be no sin upon her.


If the husband can demonstrate to her and convince her that he is determined to sort out his abusive behavior, and she believes him, there is absolutely no harm if she wishes to return back to live as his wife. But if the wife, after having faced violence and abused is convinced that the husband will not change his behavior towards her, and is not keen on remaining his wife; she is well within her rights to seek a khula divorce by taking her case to the Shariah Court; and there is absolutely nothing a husband can do about that.


Islam neither gives the right to the husband to keep his wife against her will, nor gives the right to the wife to keep her husband against his will. If both of them agree to come to a compromise and live together in peace, that would be best in the sight of Allah Subhanah and akin to righteousness. But if one or both of them decide to separate by divorce, they are within their rights to do so.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verses 128,130:

128 If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

130 But if they disagree (and must part) Allah will provide abundance for all from His all-reaching Bounty: for Allah is He that Cares for all, and is Wise.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your Brother in Islam,





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