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Abusive husband

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

DEAR BROTHER IN ISLAM,
ASSALAM O ALAIKUM WA RAHMATULLAHI WA BARAKATUH ( MAY ALLAH'S PEACE, MERCY AND BLESSING BE UPON ON YOU ) ALL PRAISE IS DUE TO ALLAH THE LORD OF THE WORLDS. WE SEEK HIS BLESSING ON THE NOBLEST OF MANKIND, HIS ROSUL.MAY THE PEACE AND BLESSINGS OF ALLAH BE UPON HIM MAY ALLAH WILL ALWAYS GIVE YOU AND THIS FORUM HIS GUIDANCE AND SAVE US FROM HELL FIRE.

 

First of all, I would like to thank to Allah, because of Him, I had this life, and save from the miserable life. I am thankful to Him due to His grace, kindness and mercy, that I have a second chance to live my life in good manner. I dont know whether He also forgive me for all sins I
committed in past, but I truly believe and have faith on Him that he will give His forgiveness. He is the one who strengthened  me and encouraged me to accept whatever future I will face when I say yes to marry my husband. And though I felt that it is so pain to see that I had to hear regret so often for become his wife and blamed for every un comfort moment he face in
our daily life.

 

Being not beautiful, sort, and less of attractive, is not what I wish to be born. All is Allah known what is best for me, or why He create me like this. I have no complain about it but my husband did. We are from different race and marriage because He willing to, no force from my side. His parents also already bless our marriage  and Allah bless us with  two beautiful daughters.

 

Every thing I thought that my husband happy the way I am. Accept  me, love me, and not feeling shame, or burden for me.  But I was wrong I only dreamed and He is so much regret with this marriage and feeling shame to even walk together with me.  I know that life is not easy and Allah always put us on trial and we have to win from trial and get reward from it.

 

But shall I listen and get treatment like this all my life from my own husband,  what should  I do ?. He also disgrace my parents because He said that my parents cant teach something good for my daughters and he dont want to see my daughters near to my parents.  He is my husband to whom I should listen and obey but I dont want to hurt my parents as well.  Can
you help me for all  the above   matter, ???


 

PLEASE REPLY ME
ALLAH HAFIEZ
SISTER IN ISLAM

 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

 

Answer:

 

Abusive husband

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 128: If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practice self-restraint Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 19: O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness that ye may take away part of the dower ye have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary, live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them, it may be that ye dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1740 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

The Prophet (saws) said: A believer does not taunt, curse, abuse or talk indecently.

 

Your Question: But shall I listen and get treatment like this all my life from my own husband,  what should  I do ?.

Allah Subhanah has commanded the believing man to respect and honor his wife. If the husband taunts or abuses his wife for no valid reason, he shall have a severe accounting in the Court of Allah Subhanah on an Inevitable Day.

 

My beloved and dear sister in Islam, Allah Subhanah is well Aware of the condition of all His slaves. Under the circumstances related by you, you have basically three options:

With patience and wisdom, try to instill the fear of Allah in your husband, so that he may fulfill his duties and responsibilities laid upon him by his Creator.

Bear the injustice done with you with extreme patience, and seek your reward from the Lord Most Merciful in the Hereafter.

If after everything, nothing works; then the absolute last option would be to initiate a divorce and there would be no sin upon you.

 

May Allah Subhanah make your trial easy for you, and guide your husband to be kind and merciful towards you. May Allah Subhanah grant you patience and the courage to face your trial, and reward you generously for your patience from His Unending Bounty and Grace in this world and the Hereafter.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 


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