Can one marry abused girl?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Dear brother Burhan
You done and great work and I really admire your efforts and pray to Allah to increase his blessing many folds on you and your endeavors. Burhan I dont know if this question is related to Islam or not, but this is the questions which I cant ask any body and right now I need help and advice, from some body who can guide me in right way.
My question or you can say my problem is I love some body from last 7years and she also loved me now very much, and nowadays we are planning to get married but before few days back I heard some thing about her childhood, her father used to watch XXX movies (I am talking about her childhood) and her mother is also working lady, and they are 1 brothers and 2 sisters, when her mother and father use to go for their jobs they all use to watch these XXX movies, not just watching movies she and her sister get involved doing same thing what they watched in movies, I think the physical relation between them the keep it for 6 months, and the other thing when she went for sleep her brother came to her bed, at that time she used to wear nighty, he her brother pull up her nighty and he tried to do sex with her (like in the movies, but she clamed at that time when her brother came to her bed she pretend to sleep, her brother did this for 4 months ( I mean this sex or trying to do sex) , at that time her age was 14, and for avoid this evil thing she start sleeping on her tummy, now I am confused what to do I should marry her or leave her and get marry with other woman ( I love her so much and I am very good friend of her and all these things she told me about her child hood) I am also afraid if some thing happened between her and me after marriage ( I mean fight or some thing I will get angry or start saying about her past and also I cant face her family I cant tolerate then and about her brother I want to kill him, please advice me what should I do, she said she want and she will leave her family and after marry their wont be any relationship between us and she said she wont marry with any body else, and if I want to leave her I can she wont force me please advice me I will be really grateful
( if any body else want to advice me my mail address is (email@example.com)
Your brother of Islam
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Your Question: now I am confused what to do I should marry her or leave her and get marry with other woman.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls .Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Beloved and dear Brother in Islam, if the girl has sincerely repented to Allah Subhanah for her deeds she did in ignorance in her past, and you can bring yourself to understand and erase from your memory these evil episodes of her past life; there is absolutely no harm if you wish to marry her.
If you really feel and think that you cannot accept her past, and when triggered or angered you might bring out her past in an argument; then it would be best if you did not marry the girl and looked for another to marry, as it might severely effect your relationship in your married life with this girl. But if you feel that you can accept her past as her past, and believe that she has done her sincere repentance to Allah Subhanah for her deeds done in her ignorance, there is absolutely no harm in marrying the woman.
Sahih Muslim Hadith 6518 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: He who alleviates the suffering of a brother from the affections of the world, Allah will alleviate his affections from the sufferings of the Day of Resurrection. He who finds relief for one who is hard pressed, Allah will make things easy for him in the Hereafter, and he who conceals (the faults) of a Muslim, Allah would conceal his faults in the world and in the Hereafter. Allah is at the back of a servant so long as the servant is at the back of his brother.
Beloved and dear Brother in Islam, every person has a past, and it is possible that each of us might have done deeds in the past which we are extremely ashamed and sincerely repentant of! When Allah Subhanah has, in His Sublime Mercy and Grace, covered or veiled our past from becoming public knowledge, we should not strive to uncover and unveil what Allah Subhanah has veiled from our past.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,