Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i went to visit my cousin this christmas and there i met a friend (a guy) we started talking on line and no big deal we were all just friends, and i wasn't doing anything i didn't feel uncomfortable with. then one day he all of a sudden was like i like u. i stopped talking to him after that becasue i was a little freaked out by it all. then i started talking to him and told him that i didn't think it would be right for this kinda relationship but he insisted and so i really began to like him. i kinda felt bad but i don't know i really thought it would work out between us. then all of a sudden 11 months went by. It was really working, we both respected each other. i don't know if our relationship was wrong but it felt so real and i really thought he cared about me. then like a few weeks ago he broke up with me (not like we went anywhere together.) i don't know what to do? i want to know what you would recomend for my stupid postion. i was stupid for agreeing with him and lied to myself for 11 months thinking that we were gonna get married but i guess he didn't think the way i did. i have wronged myself and Allah swa. what should i do?
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your Question: i don't know what to do? i want to know what you would recomend for my stupid postion. i was stupid for agreeing with him and lied to myself for 11 months thinking that we were gonna get married but i guess he didn't think the way i did.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time, when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
Al-Tirmidhi HadithHadith 3118 Narrated byUmar ibn al-Khattab
The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, the Shaitaan is the third."
It is absolutely forbidden for a believing woman to engage in vain talk with a non-mehram man. Forming a relationship with a non-mehram man, and engaging in lewd or vain talk is specifically forbidden by Allah Subhanah in the Glorious Quran. The Messenger of Allah (saws) warned that when a non-mehram man and woman are alone (either physically or in conversation through modern technology), the Shaitaan is the third amongst them! And the mission of the Shaitaan, the avowed enemy of man, is to make him disobey his Lord and Creator!
If you indeed truly loved the man, the righteous thing to do was to immediately advise him to meet your guardians and thus officially send a proposal to seek your hand in marriage. Many a times, when the smooth-talking man is simply looking for a good time, his intentions when the advice is given become very very clear!
Your Question: i have wronged myself and Allah swa. what should i do?
Whatever deeds one might have done, if one turns to Allah Subhanah in sincere Taubah and seeks forgiveness, Allah Subhanah has promised in the Holy Quran that He will forgive all the sins of such a believer. Not only that, our Lord is so Merciful and Generous, that He not only will forgive the sins of the believer, He will change his evil deeds done into good deeds!
The conditions or way to seek sincere Taubah or Repentance from the Merciful Lord is:
One is aware that he has sinned, and feels sorry and ashamed at his sin.
Makes a solemn covenant and promise with Allah that he will not repeat his sin again.
Turns to Allah and seeks forgiveness, before he has met with his appointment of death.
Is a believer and does righteous good deeds thereafter.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 39 Surah Zumur verses 53-54: (O Prophet) say: O My servants who have wronged their own souls.Do not despair of Allahs Mercy! Surely, Allah forgives all sins. He indeed is the All Forgiving, All Merciful. Return to your Lord and submit to Him before the scourge overtakes you; for then you may get no help from anywhere.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 135-136: Allah likes such good people very much, who, if ever they commit a base deed or wrong their own soul by the commission of a sin, remember Allah instantly, and ask for forgiveness from Him for their shortcomings. For who, but Allah, can forgive sins? (And Allah loves those) who do not knowingly persist in the wrongs they did. These will be rewarded with forgiveness from Allah, and with Gardens beneath which canals flow, and they will reside therein forever! How excellent is the reward of those who do good deeds!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 54: When those come to you who believe in Our Signs, say: "Peace be on you! Your Lord had inscribed for Himself (the rule of) Mercy. Verily if any of you did evil in ignorance, and thereafter repented and amended (his conduct), Lo! He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,