Why Muslim girl cannot marry non-muslim?
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
i feel bad for asking this question. i feel like i am straying from the right path by having doubts... but i can`t seem to get rid of them. one question i have is why is it that muslim women can`t marry outside of their religion. i understand it says so in the quran and it shouldn`t be questioned, but when i try to think it through in my head, it makes sense that at one time, men had the main influence in the family than women, so the children would follow his religion, which is why men ar allowed to marry outside of islam (i think) but surely in this day and age that is a little old fashion (i feel like a disbeliever when saying this because i know that islam trangressess time as in it is never out of date) surely in a situation where a man marries a nonmuslim woman the children will have the non-muslim influence present? and a muslim woman marrying a non muslim man -would there not be, in this day and age, an equal amount of influence of religion from each parent as that of a muslim man and a non muslim woman family? i`m not sure if that makes any sense. i hope it does, and i hope my silly doubts/question can be answered/cleared up.may allah bless you for your work.
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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 33 Surah Ahzaab verse 36: It does not behove a believing man and a believing woman that when Allah and His Messenger have given their decision in a matter, they should exercise an option in that matter of theirs. For whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger, has indeed strayed into manifest error.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 221: Do not marry mushrik women unless they believeLikewise, do not wed your women to mushrik men unless they believe..These mushrik people invite you to the Fire, while Allah by His grace invites you to the Garden and His Pardon, and He makes His revelations plain to the people so that they should learn a lesson and follow the admonition.
In light of the above clear aayah of the Holy Quran, it is prohibited for a believing woman to marry anyone (including the People of the Book) other than a believing man. Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom and Knowledge, has ordained that a believing woman, who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day, should not marry any man from among the mushriks, unless they believe.
Allah has allowed the believing men to marry to believing woman, and the chaste women from among the People of the Book (the Jews and the Christians). But Allah has allowed the believing woman to marry only among the believing men.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5: Likewise you (the believing men) are permitted to marry believing chaste women, and chaste women from among the people of the Book (Jews and Christians), provided that you give them their due mahr and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor sected intrigues.
Your Question: but surely in this day and age that is a little old fashion (i feel like a disbeliever when saying this because i know that islam trangressess time as in it is never out of date) surely in a situation where a man marries a nonmuslim woman the children will have the non-muslim influence present? and a muslim woman marrying a non muslim man -would there not be, in this day and age, an equal amount of influence of religion from each parent as that of a muslim man and a non muslim woman family?
Beloved sister in Islam, you are indeed accurate that both the parents have a significant influence on the children. Obviously the first option would be that both the parents are muslim, so that the child is born in a believing household. Besides it is not as if Allah has commanded the believing men to marry the women amongst the People of the Book; but rather it is only a permission, if one wishes to do so! It is expected that when the Jewish or Chrisitan woman who marries a true believer, and sees and experiences his righteous behavior with her and all around her, she will be influenced to accept the deen of Islam.
Islam has made the man the leader of the household, made it his duty and responsibility to provide for the family, given the ties of marriage in his hands and Islam commands that the child will be known by his fathers name.
Just because we live in an unrighteous society today, where the pagan influence has made it seem fair-seeming to make two leaders in one house!, or taken away the sole responsibility of the man to provide for the family!, or taken away the ties of the marriage from the hands of the man!, or to name their children using both the mothers and the fathers name (or even at times a completely different name away from both!), etc. does not mean that that is righteous conduct according to the Guidance and the Nature Created by the One Who Created!!!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 15 Surah Hijr verses 39-43:
39 (Iblis) said: "O my Lord! Because Thou hast put me in the wrong, I will make (wrong) fair-seeming to them on the earth and I will put them all in the wrong,
40 Except Thy servants among them sincere and purified (by Thy grace)."
41 (Allah) said: "This (Way of My sincere servants) is indeed a Way that leads straight to Me.
42 For over My servants no authority shalt thou have, except such as put themselves in the wrong and follow thee."
43 And verily Hell is the promised abode for them all!
Shaytaan, the avowed enemy of man, has vowed to make the wrong fair-seeming to all who do not sincerely hold fast to the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws) and take them astray from the Right Path! And today the society is paying a heavy price for accepting the invitation of the Shaytaan by ruining their households, in breaking their family structures, conflict in their relationships with their parents, their wives and their children, their brothers and their sisters, their friends and their loved ones, and the utter loss of peace and security in this life, and the absolute loss in the life of the Hereafter!
The Shaytaan has made fair-seeming his devious invitation to his so-called modern-progressive-educated-politically correct society as one that will lead to harmony and happiness in ones lives by loudly displaying the one case that seems right and hiding the billions of cases where those who accepted his invitation are made to suffer in silent pain and agony and absolute misery! He then tries to make his argument strong by loudly proclaiming the few cases that seem bad in those who claim to follow Islam, and keeping tight-lipped about the millions of cases where those who truly follow the tenets and commands of their Lord and Creator enjoying peace and harmony in their lives! He then uses these few bad cases to label the Guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws) as backward, primitive, politically and socially incorrect, and out of sync with modern times and thought!!!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 35 Surah Fatir verses 5-6:
5 O mankind! Certainly the promise of Allah is true. Let not then this present life deceive you, nor let the Chief Deceiver (Shaytaan) deceive you about Allah.
6 Verily, Shaytaan is an enemy to you: so treat him as an enemy! He only invites his adherents that they may become Companions of the Blazing Fire.
If only one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), he can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), he can be assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,