Giving gifts in marriage
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
A question related to Marriage... Its become customary in a marriage to exchange "gifts". And sometimes this gifting leads to complications as it is construed to be a sign of respect for each other's family. Could you advise what the Holy Quran says about this issue. I know about Mehr but is there any other occasions where a Girl is supposed to give things to a Guy or vice versa. Want to know what the original concept is? Thank you.
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Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 4: And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they of their own good pleasure remit any part of it to you , take it and enjoy it with right good cheer.
Mehr is an obligatory condition in marriage in Islam, whereby the groom offers a gift to the bride. Islam encourages the giving and taking of gifts, but these gifts must be of ones own free will and choice, and not something which are demanded by the receiver or custom. The Messenger of Allah (saws) himself gave and received gifts.
Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.758 Narrated by Aisha
The Messenger of Allah (saws) used to accept gifts and used to give something in return.
Islam has put the full financial responsibility of the society on the shoulders of men, and every expense related to the marriage (clothes, gifts, feast, etc.) has to be borne by the man. The women is not required to spend even a cent towards the marriage expenses.
Indeed it is unfortunate that some societies today have made the giving and receiving of gifts on such occasions a sign of respect for each others families; and no matter how good ones intentions when giving the gifts, the receiving family always expects more or better! A gift is a gift only if one gives and receives it out of good will; a gift forced out of someone against his will shall be called a bribe or extortion! Such customs are alien to the deen of Islam and the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah (saws), and must be rejected by the believers.
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Your Brother in Islam,