Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I have a friend who is married and has two children. He is in love with a girl who also loves and caes for him deeply. He has promised the girl that he will marry her. Thsi girl is aware of his first marriage and is willing to happily accept his family. Even his wife has agreed to the marriage as they have decided to share their time equally. But the parents due to their status in society do not want to accept this marriage. They do not undestand my friends feelings and want to break ties with him. What should my friend do he does not want to break his promise to the person who cares for him. And at the same time he is trying very hard to explain this to his father

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Parents disagree for second marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

The act of getting married is a Sunnah; but to obey one’s parents in all matters is an absolutely obligatory or ‘Fard’ duty of every believer. To obey the parents would supercede the fulfillment of any promise the man might have made!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24: Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

It would be best if the man had patience, and tried with extreme patience, humility, and politeness to convince his father to give his consent to the marriage. That would be the best in the sight of the Merciful Lord.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan