Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

i was recently enagaged to a girl whom i liked. and we are to be married INSHALLAH after a span of 2 to 3 years. the question i wanted to ask was that " AM i allowed to ask my fiancee to do pardha(hijab), and tell her not to talk to other non mehrams other than premissible in islam. hence tell her to love me and talk to me rather than any other non-mehrams." and can i have feelings of love for her and vice versa before marrige for no bad intentions? please advice me on this regard . and you are doing a great job

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Tell Fiance to make veil/hijaab

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Firstly, until your actual Nikaah with the woman you intend to marry, she remains a non-mehram to you; and it would be the responsibility of her father, her brothers, or her guardians to command her to wear the hijaab. But if you can make it known to her father, brother, or guardian that you would like your wife-to-be to adorn the hijaab, it is expected that your fiancé will accede to your liking.

Secondly, Islam does not prohibit the believing woman to talk to non-mehram men if there is genuine need and work. What Islam specifically prohibits is the private meeting and casual talking of a non-mehram man and woman.

It is only natural that a man who intends to marry a woman would have feelings of love towards her, and there is absolutely no harm in these natural feelings; for it would be absolutely illogical and unnatural to expect a man to marry a woman for whom he has no feelings, or has hatred towards her! May Allah Subhanah increase the feelings of love that you have towards your wife to be, and also increase the feelings of love that your wife to be has towards you.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan