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Erectile dysfunction persists still I can get married

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

 Thank you so much brothers. Your response was truly encouraging. Though i.still have some doubts. if this disease of erectile dysfunction. persists even till i get married. wouldn't it be necessary.fr me to inform the one whom i'm marrying? if thats the case then i don't think it will.go.down well with anyone. it will be extremely difficult if not impossible to find a spouse. in my culture people have a way of interferring into.people's lives. Allah forbid if i remain unmarried. it will be my parents who will sufer. they will.have to.face society's questions. thats the last thing i.want. my parents are most.important to me than anything. i.have some idea how life will.become nothing less than a living hell. dealing with this disease is one of the hardest things in life. sometimes i think a terminal illness would have been much easier to.deal with where i.would die in peace eventually. only cowards committ suicide i know. but just try to bring urself in my shoes and u'll understand why i think of it. besides the only thing stopping me is actually becoz of various hadith declaring it unforgivable. if it was forgivable i.would've done it already. but day by day the temptation is becoming irresistable. its in my.subconcious. a voice telling me to.go.for it. and subconcious is motivated by emotion not reason. i'm not sure how much longer can i fight the temptation. besides i dont know if i'm capable of producing offsprings. i.havent done any tests. what if i'm completely impotent that will be the final nail in the coffin.

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Answer:

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Brother first thing go and consult a good physician and get yourself checked out whether you are impotent or not. No use of worrying when you are not sure. Maybe there is a cure for the erectile dysfunction that you are not aware of.
 
So what if you are impotent? There are millions of women who are barren. Brother this is your test, and it looks like you are failing miserably. Just think what would your parents prefer, you taking your life owing to impotency or they having an impotent alive son. The answer is obvious.
 
Never ever wish that another illness is better than whatever you have. You have no idea what a person having terminal illness goes through. Those that are terminally ill only wish to live a few more days/years. The pain they and their families go through for ages is not funny. You are only thinking below the belt. 
 
If everybody who is impotent starts committing suicide, just imagine what the state of affairs would be. What do you think a person with paralysis, blindness, deafness, etc would want to do. Most such people are thankful to their Lord creator as they could have been inflicted with worse problems. Then think about parents who give birth to retards or down-syndrome afflicted children or with the many other complex illnesses. Do they think about committing suicide? Or the very poor who do not have enough to feed themselves and their children, do they think of giving up their lives. No brother, most of them live and fight on and be thankful.
 
Where is your emaan? And you call yourself a believer? You can marry a divorced woman, or a barren woman and adopt a child. There are millions of options, if you only trust Allah swt and think. Disclosing your deficiency to your wife is an option you should take when the time comes. If you are well off marry a poor girl who will not mind your impotency. But no.......you want to take the easy shaytani way out. Be a man brother and face life's problem head on. This deficiency has been given by Allah swt., and if some people want to make jokes about it, let it not worry you. But taking your life is just not an option. Its not only cowardice but plain stupidity. We feel you should get your head checked up as maybe you are a mental case too.
 
You are correct in your deduction about the sin of suicide not being ever forgiven. Till the end of time you will be cast into the depths of hell-fire and you will continue to bear the pain and the strain of committing the same suicide again and again. What an evil end for a coward to have not taken the burden of impotency in this world for everlasting misery in the hereafter.
 
We have tried to present all possibilities to live. At the end it is your call. Be a man and make your parents proud that you have opted to face life as Allah swt has decreed for you. They will understand it is not your fault and they will love you for that. Millions don't ever get married for various reasons, so you will not be doing something new. You could always say that you have a disease and deficiency that does not permit you to accept a marriage proposal. So stop delving in self pity and do something worthwhile. Stop all negative thoughts and make supplications to Allah swt for His help, mercy and forgiveness.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline


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