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How to help myself.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

im a young 16 year old, born in a family that had everything i was bought up to be known as strong, confident and intelligent everyone thought of me as samajdaar and sensible i could easily understand a lecture and find a solution. i was really interested in islam and could listen to one of my only religious uncles talk for hours.
as i grew up i was confident happy and had it all really, but i suddenly got nazar: evil eye that made me deppressed and i or my parents couldnt understand why. my dad made a mistake of taking me to a fake peer who sent other spritual things to me i was on some kind of split personality and was screaming deleriously and seeing stuff. i basically was saved by someone else who was a good person and cured me, but the affects remained and i developed an illness called phycosis and due to that deppression.
due to this major test i became 5 Times in salah but the voices, made me have deppression i was on medication etc was cured... but on the way of anxiety and worries as foolish and stupid as i could ever be i lost iman.i stopped making dua and praying i still believed in god but always felt hollow and un confident inside. i know im ashamed, this all occurred two year ago. this year i started college i was happy i revived my confidence. Come of medication but then i done the most fooslish mistake anyone could ever do i started becoming a rantless pain in the butt teenager. being frustrated and rude due to some silly girl putting me down and i was retaliating yes i know wrong but in that i was stressing, negativity and really being the most horrible person my past was coming back to haunt me being rude to everyone to prove im the best obviously because i was insecure. in this i didnt realise people started to hate me and show it. i started to feel weird and really didnt understand but i changed my attitude to the teaching of islam and it worked mashallah i felt good i was patient researched how to give a humble impression, etc but now im left with too many insecurities feeling anxious about nothing. fearing constantly remembering my past etc. scared of stupid things scared to speak sometimes. hard to forget things and move on. really im not giving up but i want to know i really want to stop my negative thinking i read quran yes i know i look like a user and i repented, i realised my mistake stopped listening to music stopped being rude to my parents and sisters, i was a really bad person and im soooo sorry to my allah and my parents. i want to trust allah, i want to forget but im always scared. im always anxious i love my life i have got everything to be happy about i realise im so ungreatful. i thank him all the time, but i just cant change my negative thinking. My insecure child is not going, i became like this due to childhood trauma. im suffering because of my mistake :(

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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

As salaam aleikum 

Brother, get your act together and strive to be a grateful servant of Allah swt as He has granted you many gifts that you least deserve. No one else can help you. Put all your trust in Allah swt., and once one has done that then there is nothing to fear, as only His will will be done.

All these excuses and justification of childhood trauma, insecurities, depressions, nazar, negativity etc., are what rich kids who have got it all justify themselves of undergoing. The fact is brother, if you were born in one of the poor families in the Indo-Pak areas, or Afghanistan, or Iraq, or Africa or even China for that matter, you would not even know that you were undergoing the above emotions.

You are responsible for your errors of mis-behaving with your parents and others in the family. What gives you the right to abuse anybody? Who do you think you are? Nobody owes you anything. What have you done to deserve so much affluence and love? 

Wake up, Brother. You are entering adulthood and soon your own people will tire of your tantrums and exclude you from their lives, as they have better things to do than pacify you and your foolishness. 

By admitting that you have been spoilt rotten will not wipe your sins. Make sincere taubah to Allah swt and commence paying back the people who you have abused by being kind and helpful to them henceforth. Brother there is no free lunch in this world. Establish the regular prayers in their prescribed times, read the Quran in a language you understand daily at fajr time, fast during Ramadhan, keep righteous company and do charity and good deeds constantly. InshaAllah you will find your Lord merciful and forgiving and you will find contentment in your heart and life.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline

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