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The revert muslim should leave their home and parents for the sake of allah?

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As-Salamu Alaykum (Warh) Dear sister/Brother, I'm a reverted muslim girl from hindu.
 
i persued my graduation in a muslim college and embraced islam with lot of interest. as soon i came to know about islam have stopped worshipping idols and jesus (i was in a feel "god is one ") with help of Allah (swt) and told everything to my mother. she don't understand anything which i said her and started hurting me. hardly after 3 years of my college life my parents stopped hurting and forcing me to worship other things, now "the jamad members in my home town saying to leave my parents and step out of home. They show some verse from the Quran (58:14) and saying that i don't listen Allah and my imaan is weak. Your khafir parents are not eligible to be your vali on nikkah so quran clearly says you should not be with the khafirs" I feel depressed about it and as a elder daughter i have some resposibilities to take care of my mother and younger sisters. please clarify me '' the revert should leave their parents when they don't force to keep partners for Allah? and as that verse says the khafir can't be my parents anymore? I don't have any responsibility to care and love them when my parents are non muslims?"

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Answer:

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:

Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone!  Treat your parents with great kindness;  if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say ‘uff’ to them;  nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words.  Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, “O our Lord,  be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.”

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqman verse 14:

14      And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 46 Surah Ahqaaf verses 15-17:

15      We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: in pain did his mother bear him and in pain did she give him birth.  The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months.  At length when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years he says "O my Lord! grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favor which Thou hast bestowed upon me and upon both my parents and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue.  Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam."

16      Such are they from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds: (they shall be) among the Companions of the Garden: a promise of truth which was made to them (in this life).

17      But (there is one) who says to his parents "Fie on you! Do ye hold out the promise to me that I shall be raised up even though generations have passed before me (without rising again)? " And they two seek Allah's aid (and rebuke the son): "Woe to thee! Have Faith! For the promise of Allah is True." But he says "This is nothing but tales of the ancients!"

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 6 Surah Anaam verse 151:

151    Say: "Come I will rehearse what Allah hath (really) prohibited you from": join not anything as equal with Him; be good to your parents: kill not your children on a plea of want;  We provide sustenance for you and for them;  come not nigh to shameful deeds whether open or secret; take not life which Allah hath made sacred except by way of justice and law: thus doth He command you that ye may learn wisdom.

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 36:

36      Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors who are strangers the companion by your side the way-farer (ye meet) and what your right hands possess: for Allah loveth not the arrogant the vainglorious;

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 215:

215    They ask thee what they should spend (in charity).  Say: ‘Whatever ye spend that is good is for parentsand kindred and orphans and those in want and for wayfarers.  And whatever ye do that is good Allah knoweth it well.’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4941        Narrated by Abu Umamah

A man said, "O Messenger of Allah (saws), what rights can parents demand from their children?"  He (saws) replied, "They are (or your relation with them will determine) your Paradise or your Hell."

 

Sahih Muslim Hadith  6189    Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘Let him be humbled into dust!  Let him be humbled into dust!’ It was said: ‘O Allah's Messenger (saws), who is he?’  He (saws) said: ‘He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (through his deeds of service towards them)!’

 

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 5120  Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Hayadah

I asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah(saws)! To whom should I show kindness most?’  He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother.’ I asked (again): ‘Who next?’. He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’.  I asked: ‘Who next?’  He (saws) replied: ‘Your mother!’  I asked again: ‘Who next?’ and he (saws) replied: ‘Your father, and then your relatives in order of relationship.’

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 4939        Narrated by Mu'awiyah ibn Jahimah

Jahimah came to the Prophet (saws) and said, "Messenger of Allah (saws), I desire to go on a military expedition and I have come to consult you.  He (saws) asked him if he had a mother, and when he replied that he had, he (saws) said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.18 Narrated by Aisha

The Prophet (saws) said:  "The word 'Ar-Rahm' (womb) derives its name from 'Ar-Rahman' (i.e. Allah).  So whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. kith and kin), Allah will keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his bonds of kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him!"

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 3.821         Narrated by Anas

The Prophet (saws) was asked about the ‘Kabair’ (the absolute gravest sins in the Sight of Allah). He (saws) replied: "They are:--

  1. To join others in worship with Allah,
  2. To be undutiful to one's parents,
  3. To kill a person (which Allah has forbidden to kill) (i.e. to commit the crime of murder),
  4. And to give a false witness."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.290         Narrated by Abu Bakra

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Shall I inform you of the biggest of the Great Sins?" They said, "Yes, O Allah's Messenger (saws)!" He (saws) said, "To join partners in worship with Allah, and to be undutiful to one's parents."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3653        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr

The Prophet (saws) said, "An undutiful son, a gambler, one who casts up what he has given, and one who is addicted to wine will not enter Paradise."

 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3655        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "There are three people to whom Allah has forbidden Paradise: one who is addicted to wine, an undutiful son, and a cuckold who agrees to his womenfolk's adultery."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.505         Narrated by Abdullah

I asked the Prophet (saws): "Which deed is the dearest to Allah?" He (saws) replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To be good and dutiful to your parents." I again asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He (saws) replied, "To participate in Jihad (religious fighting) in Allah's cause."  'Abdullah added, "I asked only that much and if I had asked more, the Prophet (saws) would have told me more."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 8.4  Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr

Allah's Messenger (saws) said. "It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 9.9  Narrated by Abdullah bin Amr

The Prophet said, "Al-Kaba'ir (the biggest sins) are: “To join others (as partners) in worship with Allah, to be undutiful to one's parents,and to take a false oath."

 

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 4.248         Narrated byAbdullah bin Amr

A man came to the Prophet  asking his permission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet asked him, "Are your parents alive?" He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet said to him, "Then exert yourself in their service."

 

Dear and beloved Sister in Islam, one cannot over-emphasize the significance and importance Islam has laid upon the reverence and respect of one’s parents, regardless of whether one’s parents are believers or disbelievers!

 

Such is the rank and status the Lord Most High has accorded to parents in Islam that only after the rights due to Allah Subhanah and His Messenger (saws), the biggest rights in all mankind are due to one’s parents.  Thus it is absolutely obligatory upon the believers who sincerely fear Allah and the Last Day to be devoutly obedient to each and every lawful wish and command of their parents….the only, and we reiterate ONLY time a believer is permitted to disobey the command or wish of their parents is if they ask their off-spring to do anything which is clearly against the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws).

 

Al-Tirmidhi HadithHadith 3696         Narrated by An-Nawwas ibn Sam'an

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator."

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 31 Surah Luqmaan verses 14-15:

14      And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (Hear the command:) "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) goal.

15      But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not (in that command of theirs); yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me: in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the Truth of all that ye did."

 

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 29 Surah Ankabut verses 8-9:

8        We have enjoined on man kindness to parents: but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me (in worship) anything of which thou hast no knowledge obey them not (in that command of theirs).  Ye have (all) to return to Me and I will tell you (the Truth) of all that ye did.

9        And those who believe and work righteous deeds, them shall We admit to the company of the Righteous.

 

Thus beloved sister, if one finds themselves in a situation where their own parents oppose their belief (and/or practice) in the Truth, or their parents command or ask them to do something which is against the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws), the believing children should politely but firmly refuse to obey them in that command of theirs.  But in every other matter of life, the believers are commanded to devoutly obey their parents, even if their parents are disbelievers.

 

Under absolutely no circumstances, should a believer rebuke, or revile, or abuse, or be rude towards, or disown their parents…but rather, one is commanded in Islam to be kind, tender, loving, and display immense patience when dealing with them at all times….even if one’s parents are disbelievers.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline


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