Marriage guidance family permission: ..
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Salam wa3alykum, I don't know where to start but I need major guidance on the question I will ask. There is someone I know who wants to propose to me for the past 5 years and over 6 times has he approached his mother to go ahead with the proposal to me. She refuses as she doesn't like our family. Her reasons does not apply to me as she just dislikes my family. Many times has he asked her to resolve the issue but yet she does not want me or my family. This guy of mine is torn by his love for me and his mother. Her reasons are not strong enough to both of us and she keeps giving reasons that has to do with my mother, aunt..etc! I also really want to be with him as he is a good Muslim man. My question is if he DOES want to go ahead for marriage WITHOUT her consent, will we have Allah's blessing? And is this ok for us? Or will we ruin our family? We are both 23 ad by the grace of Allah , are willing and able for marriage. We want kheir for each other but we are torn by the love we have for our parents and each other. My mother is also getting frustrated by all this. I am surrounded by negativity and I am in allot of pain by this. May Allah bless you for your help on this matter.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sister if what you say is the truth then there is an allowance for the couple to get married without the consent of the parents if they are not willing to give their consent only because of trivial matters pertaining to other issues in the family. Note it well that this is not an open permission that when parents do not agree the son/daughter can go ahead and get married without their parents approval.
Whoever takes this drastic step should know that he/she will be answerable in the just court of Allah swt.. If you feel confident that you will be able to answer your Majestic Lord then you go ahead. But remember a marriage is never with an individual only, both the families are mutually involved to make it a success.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is only ones. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brothers and well wishers in Islam,
Members of Islamhelpline